Create a positivity bias in just two minutes per day. Happiness is not a destination. It is a constant pursuit. It's a common misconception that people believe if you just get through the discomfort, all will be well, but that place just does not exist. Creating yourself a positivity bias and being happy come from being grateful for what you've got. A lot of people struggle with this and often think, "Well, what do I have? A stressful job, a current monotony in life." It's easy to think that these are bad things, but these are some things that you can be grateful for. For example, be grateful that you have your health, your education level, and grateful for a roof over your head. Even be grateful just the fact that you can turn on a tap and have access to clean water.
I had a client years ago who was diagnosed with cancer and had metastatic disease. The cancer had spread throughout her body. She recalls telling me a story of in the past having quite mundane evenings at home. She’d have dinner with her family, and it was the same old boring scenario every evening.
However, right now, she looks back at those times and wishes she could go back to the time where things were mundane, where she had a lot less to worry about. This helped the client develop perspective, and that you can be grateful for that monotony. You can be grateful for what you have got, and be happy in the moment – rather than stressing about things you must do or wish you had not done.
Richard J. Davidson theorized that learning to become positive can be trained, just like any other skill, for example, a tennis serve. It requires just two minutes a day, but what you need to do to ensure that you do this is make it a routine. It can be as simple as thinking of things you are grateful for whilst you're in the shower.
However, practically, I recommend a more structured approach. At the end of every day, write down three things that went well for you that day. Keep a notepad by your bedside table and write them down at the end of each day.
Within 3 weeks, you'll have started scanning the world for positives and opportunities, you'll start to be looking at things in a more positive light, you'll be looking at what goes well for you. After just six weeks, you'll have created yourself a positivity bias. As you continue working on it and being grateful, you will become more focused, more optimistic, more resilient, better sleep with lower levels of depression and anxiety.
Practising being grateful is the precursor to creating a positivity bias. Being a positive person is required to become a resilient individual. To speak gratitude is polite and pleasant. To live with gratitude creates positivity and builds resilience. So again, I encourage you to keep a notepad at your bedside table and start writing down the three things that go well for you each day.
Let me know how you get on!